Oh Shit, I've Got A Blog!

Yeah bunghole, remember you told people to take a looksy at your BLOG?!? And now you're not UPDATING IT!

Sorry dudes, been busy.

So I'm officially 4 days out from my move to the ATL. Exciting stuff. I guess it's safe to go ahead and tell you about it now. For the longest I was under the impression that someone had a voodoo doll of me and would stab it everytime I had a deal go through on a house - like 3 of them fell through within 24 hours of me bragging on having found something. But alas, the deposit has been laid, the lease has been signed...and thus I present to you, my new abode!

(This is where I would put a picture of said abode, only I don't have one and frankly I'm not comfortable putting a photo of my house on the internet. But it's cool as shit, promise.)

My new house is on Euclid Avenue in Little Five Points. If you stand in the front yard you can look up the street and see Moreland - yes, I'm in walking distance of EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN. Literally, Corner Tavern is at the top of my street - turn right and the Vortex is a stone's throw - turn left and there's Zesto. Pretty damned cool.

The house was built in 1914 and is a really awesome Victorian with tons of character. It has a picket fence around the front yard and a trampoline in the back (naked trampoline sleepovers, here we come!). I couldn't have asked for a cooler place to call home. The entire house has 14 foot ceilings...my bedroom has a fireplace...shitloads of natural light - just peachy.

So the house is in order...now on to the moving process. Supposedly it's happening this Sunday and I've bitten the bullet and am paying for movers. I really should spend that money on more important stuff - like a GPS.

I get lost every single time I go down to Atlanta, no shit. I have faux GPS on my phone but it's not keen to keep glancing down at where I'm supposed to be going as opposed to focusing on the actual road and stuff. I went to Fry's yesterday to peruse their GPS selection and ran into Salesman of the Year (that's sarcasm). This was our exchange (Me is played by Me and DBS is played by DoucheBag Salesman):

DBS: Hey, can I help you find anything?
Me: (looking at a sign that says "While Supplies Last...so and so GPS...$119) Yeah, um, do y'all have anymore of these for $119?
DBS: (glances over shoulder in an obvious "I'm-not-looking-for-what-she-just-asked-me-to-look-for" sorta fashion) Nope, outta those. Yeah, just to let you know, you're not going to get a decent GPS for under $200. Anything under $200 is just going to tell you to turn left and right - they won't tell you any street names. Now we've got this Garmin over here for $249 that's pretty much what you're going to need to get where you need to go.
Me: (standing with a blank "I-hate-your-fucking-salesman-guts-DBS") Oh.

I think he figured he should walk away when steam began spewing from my ears and my fists clinched.

So DBS, lemme get this straight - I walk in asking about something that costs $119 and you proceed to bash half of your product display (because most GPS are around $150 but DBS says not to waste money on anything under $200) and then try to encourage me to purchase something that's $130 FUCKING DOLLARS MORE THAN WHAT I WANT TO PAY?!?!?

And anyway, I could care less if I'm supposed to turn at the intersection of Cum Lane and Titty Fuck Terrace - I just need to know when to turn and which way. GPS's know where you need to be and they tell you when to turn to get there. What do I care what the street names are? I mean I feel like a big enough asshole wanting to buy something to call out directions to me - it seems extravagant in my eyes. The last thing I need the GPS to do is wipe my ass, give me a happy ending and cook me eggs in the morning - just tell me where to turn!

Needless to say, Fry's did not move to the top of my "Awesome Electronics Stores" list.

Supposedly, the laws of physics or gravity or whateverthefuck dictate that the more I drive around, the easier it'll be for me to remember directions and how to get places - but at what cost? Is my sanity worth it?

Guess I'll find out...

ATLANTA OR BUST