I awoke today to find an unbelievably quiet house all to myself. I snuck through each room just to make sure I was the only one around. Thankfully, I was. It's not very often that I can enjoy a peaceful Sunday morning. There are usually kids running, arguments popping up, etc. Anything but silence.
But today, today was all mine.
I poured a glass of juice and planted myself in a chair on the front porch. The dog accompanied me and had a great time frolicking around inside the confines of our picket fence. The weather was perfect - warm enough to fight away a chill, with the slightest fall breeze blowing the hair from my face.
My neighborhood is all a flutter with people on the weekends. Everyone is out walking their dogs, biking, taking the kids for a stroll - it's quite nice to just sit and watch. Every so often Cameron would gallop up to the fence to greet a passerby. Dogs make friends so easily.
I could hear the choir from a church two doors up. People were driving up and down the street in search of parking. The stragglers would hurry up the road, bible in hand. One man parked in front of our house directly under a "No Parking" sign. As he walked away, he turned back several times as though he were debating on whether to leave his car there. Little did he know people do it all the time.
I sat in slince on the porch just watching life happen. Nobody knew I was there.
Then, walking up the sidewalk towards the church, a man appeared. He had Down's Syndrome. He wore dress clothes and a messenger bag draped over his shoulder. In his right hand, the Holy Bible. He walked with a persistence and perseverance. He didn't notice me. He never looked down at Cameron as she hopped over to the gate. He just walked on.
Without warning, my eyes watered and I began to cry. It was right then that I knew I had everything I have ever wanted and it gave me peace. I have so much to be thankful for and it overcame me all at once. I think I also cried for the man on his way to church - so many obstacles in his way but he walked on.
I'm gonna keep walking, too. I can beat you, Atlanta.
I'm not going anywhere.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Ramblin' woMan
I'm bored out of my mind. This schedule has me wanting to do harmful things to myself and those around me. I only have a few weeks to go before **hopefully** I'll have weekends off. It's such a lonely way of life to work when your friends don't and vice versa. I sit here all week with absolutely nothing to do....nowhere to go....nobody to see...solitude. Solitude sucks. I guess it's nice to have time to myself, to collect my thoughts and what not, but you kinda start to go out of your mind before too long. I'm sure if I had a boyfriend or my son lived with me or whatever I'd be grateful to have so much time to think...but...I've found that too much time on your hands is a bad thing. What's that saying about idle hands and the Devil?
I desperately need to get back into MMA. My back is all healed and my knee is all healed and I need to relieve some pent up anxiety. I miss martial arts so much. My bag full of equipment is in my closet and every now and then I take it out and give it a good whiff just to remind me of what blood, sweat and tears smells like. Ha. We should be getting our allotted $250 at work for the health & wellness program they've set up - every employee gets free money to spend on whatever they choose as long as it's related to health and wellness. I think I wanna buy a punching bag, but I dunno where I'd put it. How fun though, to have my own bag and be able to go out and do some muay thai whenever I want. I might just do that.
I'm tempted to go buy crafty things and give the old artsy fartsy thing a go again. I used to do a ton of art and now I don't - mainly because I'm poor but also because I don't really know that it drives me anymore. I kinda lost interest as opposed to lack of funds. And what am I saying, I'm not poor - far from it, in fact.
I dunno why I'm so down on myself lately. I live in a gorgeous house, I drive a nice car, I live in an awesome neighborhood, I meet cool people everywhere I go...but...something is missing. Something is lacking. Dunno what it is and it bugs me that I can't put my finger on it.
Maybe it's the fact that I've lost my sunglasses. I never lose things. I don't have all that much space of my own to actually lose anything - misplace maybe, but not lose. But, they're gone. I'll find them in like 2 years when my prescription will be all wacked out and they'll be of no use to me. Here's a question I want answered: Can you buy cheapo sunglass frames at like Target or somewhere and have prescription lenses put in them? I wanna do that if it's possible. I see so many cool frames that I'd love to have but there's no way I'd be able to see farther than 2 inches in front of my face.
I'm getting old. That's why my vision is shot. I'll be 28 this month. If you didn't realize, 28 rounds up to 30 which rounds up to 40 which rounds up to 80 which equals death. I'm almost dead by all accounts. If I don't have a fun birthday this year I think I may need to be placed on suicide watch. I need cheering up. I need excitement. I need fun times a million bajillion. I've always had sucky birthdays. I thought at least by now somebody nice would have thrown me a surprise party - I mean in 27 years its never happened. There have been 27 chances to shock the shit outta me and throw me a surprise party but nope, never. That's quite sad if you ask me. People need surprises.
I found a pack of cigarrettes in my car yesterday. They're Camel Lights. If you're the rightful owner, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm going to smoke them...every last one. I found a pack of Newports under the passenger's seat like 3 nights ago. I gave those away because they were menthol. I'm not a smoker and non-smoker's definitely don't smoke menthols. But I will smoke Camel Lights. I'm really not a smoker. I'll smoke at a bar if I'm drinking but not otherwise. And this week I went out 2 nights in a row to bars and smoked like a chimney...but...the next day...no cravings. I'm like a medical mystery in that respect. I can smoke and smoke and smoke and not become addicted.
So I'm going outside now to enjoy this beautiful fall day...and blacken a tiny corner of my lung.
I desperately need to get back into MMA. My back is all healed and my knee is all healed and I need to relieve some pent up anxiety. I miss martial arts so much. My bag full of equipment is in my closet and every now and then I take it out and give it a good whiff just to remind me of what blood, sweat and tears smells like. Ha. We should be getting our allotted $250 at work for the health & wellness program they've set up - every employee gets free money to spend on whatever they choose as long as it's related to health and wellness. I think I wanna buy a punching bag, but I dunno where I'd put it. How fun though, to have my own bag and be able to go out and do some muay thai whenever I want. I might just do that.
I'm tempted to go buy crafty things and give the old artsy fartsy thing a go again. I used to do a ton of art and now I don't - mainly because I'm poor but also because I don't really know that it drives me anymore. I kinda lost interest as opposed to lack of funds. And what am I saying, I'm not poor - far from it, in fact.
I dunno why I'm so down on myself lately. I live in a gorgeous house, I drive a nice car, I live in an awesome neighborhood, I meet cool people everywhere I go...but...something is missing. Something is lacking. Dunno what it is and it bugs me that I can't put my finger on it.
Maybe it's the fact that I've lost my sunglasses. I never lose things. I don't have all that much space of my own to actually lose anything - misplace maybe, but not lose. But, they're gone. I'll find them in like 2 years when my prescription will be all wacked out and they'll be of no use to me. Here's a question I want answered: Can you buy cheapo sunglass frames at like Target or somewhere and have prescription lenses put in them? I wanna do that if it's possible. I see so many cool frames that I'd love to have but there's no way I'd be able to see farther than 2 inches in front of my face.
I'm getting old. That's why my vision is shot. I'll be 28 this month. If you didn't realize, 28 rounds up to 30 which rounds up to 40 which rounds up to 80 which equals death. I'm almost dead by all accounts. If I don't have a fun birthday this year I think I may need to be placed on suicide watch. I need cheering up. I need excitement. I need fun times a million bajillion. I've always had sucky birthdays. I thought at least by now somebody nice would have thrown me a surprise party - I mean in 27 years its never happened. There have been 27 chances to shock the shit outta me and throw me a surprise party but nope, never. That's quite sad if you ask me. People need surprises.
I found a pack of cigarrettes in my car yesterday. They're Camel Lights. If you're the rightful owner, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm going to smoke them...every last one. I found a pack of Newports under the passenger's seat like 3 nights ago. I gave those away because they were menthol. I'm not a smoker and non-smoker's definitely don't smoke menthols. But I will smoke Camel Lights. I'm really not a smoker. I'll smoke at a bar if I'm drinking but not otherwise. And this week I went out 2 nights in a row to bars and smoked like a chimney...but...the next day...no cravings. I'm like a medical mystery in that respect. I can smoke and smoke and smoke and not become addicted.
So I'm going outside now to enjoy this beautiful fall day...and blacken a tiny corner of my lung.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Just Keep Swimming
Lastnight was one of the weirdest nights in probably my entire life.
It all began with unbelievable drama at my house - not involving me - between the other occupants in the house. Basically, the family I live with needs some serious counseling. I'll leave it at that.
I decided late in the evening, against my better judgement, to meet up with a friend at Northside Tavern on Howell Mill...all the while knowing I was almost out of gas....amidst a gas crisis....yeah, great idea. For some reason, I tried to navigate through the city as opposed to hopping on 85. And of course, I got lost. Not only did I get lost, I got lost in the hood. I don't mean the hood like "Oh, this is a lower income part of town." No, I mean the hood where, at a traffic light, a man walked up to my car wanting money and called me a 'white bitch' when I waved him away. Now if I were in the 'burbs and a guy walked up to my car and said that, I'd have no qualms about getting out and giving him a taste of my martial arts training. That's not an option down here, though. I had my windows down at the next light and noticed the gas station next to me had cars lined up at the pumps - not sure why because they didn't actually have any gas - but I did get the attention of two gentlemen perched on the hood of their car who called out "Hey white girl! Hey white girl, come over here! Hey bitch, I'm talkin' to you!" Yeah, fun times.
It was right around that time that my gas light came on and I almost had a heart attack. Luckily my friend knows his way around the city and was able to navigate over the phone and get me to the bar safely - but on fumes. So then I couldn't even chill and have a good time because I knew I didn't have enough gas to drive home and had passed a million stations, all of which were dry. I asked the bartender if he thought it was cool for me to leave my car there overnight and return with a gas can at some point. He told me it should be fine but not to leave any valuables in it. I was picturing pulling up in a cab the next day with a few drops of gas to find my car sitting on blocks and my windows busted out. Not good. We ended up taking a cab down the road and the first station we came to had gas...thank heavens. I guess if you want gas, you hafta go in the middle of the night. Lucky for me I only have a 30 MILE DRIVE TO WORK EVERYDAY!
In the month I've lived here, I've had not one "friend" offer to come over and see my new place, go eat a meal, hang out, etc. Everyone lives in the suburbs and nobody wants to drive down here and blah blah blah. It's amazing how your so-called friends show their true colors when you're in need, whether it be needing a favor or just a shoulder to lean on.
So I'm basically feeling an overwhelming culture shock and questioning if I can really make it down here after all. I'm just used to living in a place where people are nice to you and hold doors for you and offer to help you or just say "hi" with a smile as they pass. I was called a bitch at Kroger a couple weeks ago by the guy in line behind me because I apparently wasn't putting my groceries on the belt quick enough. Then a few days later a guy cussed me out for not picking up dog shit. It's just crazy to me, the balls that people have down here and how ruthless everyone is. Nobody's nice, nobody's friendly....it's like everyone is pissed off at the world.
I dunno what to do.
It all began with unbelievable drama at my house - not involving me - between the other occupants in the house. Basically, the family I live with needs some serious counseling. I'll leave it at that.
I decided late in the evening, against my better judgement, to meet up with a friend at Northside Tavern on Howell Mill...all the while knowing I was almost out of gas....amidst a gas crisis....yeah, great idea. For some reason, I tried to navigate through the city as opposed to hopping on 85. And of course, I got lost. Not only did I get lost, I got lost in the hood. I don't mean the hood like "Oh, this is a lower income part of town." No, I mean the hood where, at a traffic light, a man walked up to my car wanting money and called me a 'white bitch' when I waved him away. Now if I were in the 'burbs and a guy walked up to my car and said that, I'd have no qualms about getting out and giving him a taste of my martial arts training. That's not an option down here, though. I had my windows down at the next light and noticed the gas station next to me had cars lined up at the pumps - not sure why because they didn't actually have any gas - but I did get the attention of two gentlemen perched on the hood of their car who called out "Hey white girl! Hey white girl, come over here! Hey bitch, I'm talkin' to you!" Yeah, fun times.
It was right around that time that my gas light came on and I almost had a heart attack. Luckily my friend knows his way around the city and was able to navigate over the phone and get me to the bar safely - but on fumes. So then I couldn't even chill and have a good time because I knew I didn't have enough gas to drive home and had passed a million stations, all of which were dry. I asked the bartender if he thought it was cool for me to leave my car there overnight and return with a gas can at some point. He told me it should be fine but not to leave any valuables in it. I was picturing pulling up in a cab the next day with a few drops of gas to find my car sitting on blocks and my windows busted out. Not good. We ended up taking a cab down the road and the first station we came to had gas...thank heavens. I guess if you want gas, you hafta go in the middle of the night. Lucky for me I only have a 30 MILE DRIVE TO WORK EVERYDAY!
In the month I've lived here, I've had not one "friend" offer to come over and see my new place, go eat a meal, hang out, etc. Everyone lives in the suburbs and nobody wants to drive down here and blah blah blah. It's amazing how your so-called friends show their true colors when you're in need, whether it be needing a favor or just a shoulder to lean on.
So I'm basically feeling an overwhelming culture shock and questioning if I can really make it down here after all. I'm just used to living in a place where people are nice to you and hold doors for you and offer to help you or just say "hi" with a smile as they pass. I was called a bitch at Kroger a couple weeks ago by the guy in line behind me because I apparently wasn't putting my groceries on the belt quick enough. Then a few days later a guy cussed me out for not picking up dog shit. It's just crazy to me, the balls that people have down here and how ruthless everyone is. Nobody's nice, nobody's friendly....it's like everyone is pissed off at the world.
I dunno what to do.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Nothing To See Here
I'm soooo glad fall weather has arrived in Atlanta. So glad, in fact, that it inspired me to take the dog on a 3 mile walk this afternoon.
So, if you're not familiar, I live pretty much on the border of Little 5 Points and Candler Park. I like walking on Moreland Ave if I'm in the mood to sightsee and people watch but, on days like today, McLendon is my cup of tea for a relaxed stroll through the neighborhood.
So Cameron and I go about our merry way down McLendon toward Candler Park...when...all of the sudden...
Cameron stops to take a shit.
On a busy street.
A busy street full of ongoing construction, cars, people, traffic lights every hundred yards, etc.
It turns out there's no possible way to look cool in this situation. Do you...
A) stand there, acknowledging your dog is taking a dump, eyeing every turd that drops out of her happy ass...all the while passersby are beyond embarrassed for you, yet completely entertained by how pathetic your situation is
or
B) look into the distance as though something highly interesting has caught your attention, seemingly distracting you from the problem at hand...all the while knowing what's going on and assuming everyone passing knows that you know...because they do...they know you know and they know you're pretending to not know
And besides, what the hell are you supposed to be pretending to look at?
Low flying plane?
Purse snatching?
Zombie takeover?
Doesn't matter anyway. Everyone driving by knows that you know even if you're pretending to not know. They're all laughing at you. They hate you.
So she stops and drops a load. And I, being the "green goddess" that I am...leave the steaming pile right there in the grass and keep on truckin'.
Now I know what you're thinking...
"MAGGI! Pet waste is hazardous to people. You should always clean up after your pet!"
Not happening. I refuse to carry a bag of turds on a 3 mile walk. Nope.
Dumb dog. I mean, doesn't she want some friggin' privacy?
Anyway, the weather has been spot on for the likes of fall and I'm diggin' it. Hell, I was at Brewhouse the other night on the patio and it was almost chilly enough to put on a little jacket.
So I'm looking forward to the Halloween festivities coming up in L5P. There's a cool parade and lotsa neat happenings. Prior to that though, I'm gonna try to check out Bill Sheffield at Northside Tavern on October 11th. And most importantly, I turn 28 on October 25th. Grr.
Three cheers for birthdays and poop.
So, if you're not familiar, I live pretty much on the border of Little 5 Points and Candler Park. I like walking on Moreland Ave if I'm in the mood to sightsee and people watch but, on days like today, McLendon is my cup of tea for a relaxed stroll through the neighborhood.
So Cameron and I go about our merry way down McLendon toward Candler Park...when...all of the sudden...
Cameron stops to take a shit.
On a busy street.
A busy street full of ongoing construction, cars, people, traffic lights every hundred yards, etc.
It turns out there's no possible way to look cool in this situation. Do you...
A) stand there, acknowledging your dog is taking a dump, eyeing every turd that drops out of her happy ass...all the while passersby are beyond embarrassed for you, yet completely entertained by how pathetic your situation is
or
B) look into the distance as though something highly interesting has caught your attention, seemingly distracting you from the problem at hand...all the while knowing what's going on and assuming everyone passing knows that you know...because they do...they know you know and they know you're pretending to not know
And besides, what the hell are you supposed to be pretending to look at?
Low flying plane?
Purse snatching?
Zombie takeover?
Doesn't matter anyway. Everyone driving by knows that you know even if you're pretending to not know. They're all laughing at you. They hate you.
So she stops and drops a load. And I, being the "green goddess" that I am...leave the steaming pile right there in the grass and keep on truckin'.
Now I know what you're thinking...
"MAGGI! Pet waste is hazardous to people. You should always clean up after your pet!"
Not happening. I refuse to carry a bag of turds on a 3 mile walk. Nope.
Dumb dog. I mean, doesn't she want some friggin' privacy?
Anyway, the weather has been spot on for the likes of fall and I'm diggin' it. Hell, I was at Brewhouse the other night on the patio and it was almost chilly enough to put on a little jacket.
So I'm looking forward to the Halloween festivities coming up in L5P. There's a cool parade and lotsa neat happenings. Prior to that though, I'm gonna try to check out Bill Sheffield at Northside Tavern on October 11th. And most importantly, I turn 28 on October 25th. Grr.
Three cheers for birthdays and poop.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Ramblings
I'm all settled in at my new place. Check out the pictures on MySpace if you're curious. I think there are a couple that clearly show my street number if you're into stalking.
One of the pictures is of our bidet. If you're not familiar with what a bidet is, you need to Wikipedia that bitch. It's basically a contraption resembling a toilet and it's used to clean your private areas - basically like a big 'ol porcelein douche. I used it for the first time the other day. Yeah, um...yeah. I felt a little weird about using it just because it's technically not my house, therefore it's technically not my bidet. And that's a little gross to use someone else's bidet - like "Hey Mary, can I use those last couple drops of douche out of your douchesack?". But I used it. And it was....interesting. You sit on it facing the wall which is weird to begin with. Like imagine sitting on a toilet backwards and taking a shit - you'd feel pretty lame. So you turn on the water and then turn on another faucet that sprays the water up into your holes. At first I had it way too hot and I shot the water up my hoo hoo and it felt like my vagina was on fire. Once I got the temp at a desirable level, I turned on the faucet to almost-full-blast. Now if you turn this puppy all the way up, get ready to gargle with it because it's not playing around - it's pretty strong. So you sit there and let the water just go all up in your crevices and you kinda hafta rock back and forth so it's goes in your butt and your hoo hoo and on your other parts too. Then you just get up and dry off. I tell ya what, it looks super gay while you're doing it but that's like the cleanest my vaginal/rectal area has ever felt.
So feel free to use my bidet when you come to visit.
I'm loving city life. Well, except for the 45 minute drive to and from work - that's most certainly NOT fun. However, I've discovered the most breathtaking view of the city and here are the instructions on how to see it for yourself:
1. Take 85 south around 3:30 am.
2. Just as you cross under the sign for 17th Street - 1/4 mile, look up.
3. There it is.
No really, there aren't any other cars on the road and all the city lights are right there to greet you and it's just the most remarkable skyline I've ever seen. Pretty neat and worth taking a gander at.
What's up with all the people on bikes around here? Bikes and scooters. I need to get one apparently - probably a bike because scooters are flamingly gay in my opinion. People on scooters look like they're riding motorized wheelchairs. I just don't understand the appeal. I found this picture of a scooter with a toilet attached.
Find me one with a bidet and I'm game.
But seriously, everyone rides bikes down here so I think that'll be my next big purchase. I doubt I can commit to a bicycle helmet, though. They just look so dorky and I mean if I'm meant to die on a bicycle then far be it from me to stand in the way of destiny.
There's a really funny hobo that stands on the corner of Boulevard and Freedom Pkwy every afternoon. I just thought of that and felt the need to share. He stands out there with a sign saying "CANCER - PLEASE HELP". Sometimes he'll have Ding Dongs or canned drinks to sell - not sure where he gets those. I dunno if I'd have the courage to eat a Ding Dong that came from a hobo (there's a double entendre in there somewhere). One day he walked up to my car as I was taking a sip out of a cup and he did this funny "I'm drunk" gesture and then started breakdancing. It was very confusing but funny. I still didn't give him any money.
I'm sitting here waiting for our new dishwasher to be delivered. The people were supposed to be here between 8am and 10am. It's 10:07. That'd be cool if it were like the pizza thing - 30 minutes or less or it's free. Actually, I don't care if it's free because I didn't pay for it.
Okay, I'm shutting up now.
One of the pictures is of our bidet. If you're not familiar with what a bidet is, you need to Wikipedia that bitch. It's basically a contraption resembling a toilet and it's used to clean your private areas - basically like a big 'ol porcelein douche. I used it for the first time the other day. Yeah, um...yeah. I felt a little weird about using it just because it's technically not my house, therefore it's technically not my bidet. And that's a little gross to use someone else's bidet - like "Hey Mary, can I use those last couple drops of douche out of your douchesack?". But I used it. And it was....interesting. You sit on it facing the wall which is weird to begin with. Like imagine sitting on a toilet backwards and taking a shit - you'd feel pretty lame. So you turn on the water and then turn on another faucet that sprays the water up into your holes. At first I had it way too hot and I shot the water up my hoo hoo and it felt like my vagina was on fire. Once I got the temp at a desirable level, I turned on the faucet to almost-full-blast. Now if you turn this puppy all the way up, get ready to gargle with it because it's not playing around - it's pretty strong. So you sit there and let the water just go all up in your crevices and you kinda hafta rock back and forth so it's goes in your butt and your hoo hoo and on your other parts too. Then you just get up and dry off. I tell ya what, it looks super gay while you're doing it but that's like the cleanest my vaginal/rectal area has ever felt.
So feel free to use my bidet when you come to visit.
I'm loving city life. Well, except for the 45 minute drive to and from work - that's most certainly NOT fun. However, I've discovered the most breathtaking view of the city and here are the instructions on how to see it for yourself:
1. Take 85 south around 3:30 am.
2. Just as you cross under the sign for 17th Street - 1/4 mile, look up.
3. There it is.
No really, there aren't any other cars on the road and all the city lights are right there to greet you and it's just the most remarkable skyline I've ever seen. Pretty neat and worth taking a gander at.
What's up with all the people on bikes around here? Bikes and scooters. I need to get one apparently - probably a bike because scooters are flamingly gay in my opinion. People on scooters look like they're riding motorized wheelchairs. I just don't understand the appeal. I found this picture of a scooter with a toilet attached.
Find me one with a bidet and I'm game.
But seriously, everyone rides bikes down here so I think that'll be my next big purchase. I doubt I can commit to a bicycle helmet, though. They just look so dorky and I mean if I'm meant to die on a bicycle then far be it from me to stand in the way of destiny.
There's a really funny hobo that stands on the corner of Boulevard and Freedom Pkwy every afternoon. I just thought of that and felt the need to share. He stands out there with a sign saying "CANCER - PLEASE HELP". Sometimes he'll have Ding Dongs or canned drinks to sell - not sure where he gets those. I dunno if I'd have the courage to eat a Ding Dong that came from a hobo (there's a double entendre in there somewhere). One day he walked up to my car as I was taking a sip out of a cup and he did this funny "I'm drunk" gesture and then started breakdancing. It was very confusing but funny. I still didn't give him any money.
I'm sitting here waiting for our new dishwasher to be delivered. The people were supposed to be here between 8am and 10am. It's 10:07. That'd be cool if it were like the pizza thing - 30 minutes or less or it's free. Actually, I don't care if it's free because I didn't pay for it.
Okay, I'm shutting up now.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
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